Thursday, July 25, 2013

I hesitate to make posts like this. Because I am afraid that the thoughts, feelings, sentiments will fade, and I will just go back to feeling bad again, allowing bad thinking to run rampant in my head. Or that those I know will read this, and my actions won’t match, and people will think I am full of shit. But we all go through this don’t we, when we have epiphanies, when we have a growth spurt. The main thing is that these coming to’s are always there, DEEP within my SOUL. I think it is a sign of spiritual maturity to realize, that it does not mean everything is fixed now and we will be perfect and behave from now on, but, that we may forget many times, still be an asshole sometimes, and fail miserably at trying to put good principles into daily practice in our relationships with ourselves, the world, and those we love.

As usual, I had found myself very angry and resentful inside over some things lately. Apparently, it had gotten so uncomfortable, I needed to get uncomfortable, that there was no further to go except to change. To remember before I go to sleep to pray and attempt contact with God. So I have been doing that, to the best of my ability. It’s no fun to be an asshole when you know you are being an asshole, sure, maybe at first there is some satisfaction in it, especially if you are used to going with the flow and being a people pleasure, but then it starts to feel hard and cold and all icky in your insides, and you start wondering in all your interactions if everyone knows your real asshole thoughts and feelings.

So thank God, when just watching TV yesterday, minding my own business, I was suddenly reminded for no reason what so ever, that everyone likes to be treated nice, and I need to treat people how I want to be treated. I want to be understood, I want compassion, I want tolerance, I want people to patiently wait and understand more deeply the real issues if I am temporarily being delusional, or being an asshole. So that’s how I need to treat other people. Nothing new of course, every religion and philosophy teaches this, but so easily forgotten.

It makes feeling warm and fuzzy for people on the inside a reality, not just struggled for or feigned, but a real heartfelt reality. It make interactions with people more meaningful and important. It generates love in the world.

Nothing is a big deal
Treat others how you want to be treated
Accept your life exactly as it is today
Look for God

Most important, if you have ever seen the movie, or read the book, The Color Purple, is
“Everything want to be loved. Us sing and dance and holler, just trying to be loved.”
-- Alice Walker, The Color Purple

~Jenny