Mothers

The times on the airplane were the best
undivided attention
virgin bloody marys
and guessing games
of gifts bigger than a bread box
in shiny new pants
with apples on the back pockets

The time in the hospital was the best
undivided attention
a doll in a yellow dress
when waking up
with her at the bedside
after trudging through the snow
in white sweater and brown pants

~Jenny

I Am An American

I am an American
give me hope
I am an American
speak up for me
I am an American
my ancestors fought
for this country
I am an American
restore my patriotism
in what that really means
I am an American
do not take the bread
from my hand
and give it to another
I am an American
if you stop stealing from me
it may give me a chance to share
with you
and show you
what being an American
really means

~Jenny

Poems From The Past

The Actress

May 19th, 2003

I have lived in a world of shadows

beyond my comprehension

A world of illusions

like many props painted

bright unnatural colors

set up on stage

for all the world to see

my Cirque du Soleil

but i have carefully masked the soul part

this has not actually been a play of the soul

but of the shadow

what looked to be a harmless comedy

to the actress

was played out

as a tragedy

to the audience

forgetting her lines

falling down

weeping on stage

for all the world to see

~Jenny

Hubble Deep Field

James Taylor - "Fire & Rain"

Cleveland

 

My heart feels drawn to Cleveland
that’s where I belong
the smell of the airport
the baggage claim
the sounds of the city
nostalgia
vacation
home
pink winter coat
the Terminal Tower
lite up in the night
hanging street lights
snow
my ancestry
my history
grandmas and grandpas
mothers and fathers
pot lucks
I cannot count
the number of stories
of my mothers youth
taking the bus downtown
stories of my father
my grandfather
plumbers
Cleveland National Bank
Lorraine Street
the plays that were all set
on the stage of Cleveland

~Jenny

Freshness

Sometimes we have bad days
and just want to go home
and have someone make us Sloppy Joes
with tatter tots
and read us a story
preferably from the library
with the clear crinkling cover
that makes that delicious noise
every time you open the book
or turn the page
and tuck us in
with fresh floral print sheets
and quilts
in a little cottage
with the window open
and a fresh breeze blowing in
and stay by us until we fall asleep
with the stars shining brightly
outside

~Jenny

War

War is ugly
some of our tenderest souls
have lost their bearings
on the field
and their friends
they take this to the grave
after carrying it around
all their long lives 
in a spiritual duffel bag
full of pain
and visions
no one should have to endure

~Jenny

Monday Morning

Swimming in my own thoughts, inadequacies and fear.
I think someone peed in the pool.

~Jenny

When You're In Love With Your Best Friend

"Little girls get temperamental sometimes"
I said, as we watched The Secret Garden together.
"I know" he said.
"Grown women are all still little girls inside."
I replied.
"That's what I love about you" he smiled.
They say that if you are in love with your best friend,
that gets you through the natural fact
that relationships fluctuate.
When you are in love with your best friend,
most days are like a birthday party,
most nights are like a slumber party,
and simple meals are like Thanksgiving.

~Jenny

Untitled For Another Day

The pedestal
has come crashing down
I always do this
place people at incredibly tall heights
without a ladder
you can’t climb down
I can’t climb up
and maybe
just like the lone sailor
who washes ashore
on the island
of natives
I think you are a god
the savior
only to find out
that you make fire from matches
not magic
and then
I want to hunt you down
and burn you at the stake
for deceiving me
I’m not mentally ill
just illusional
about people sometimes
and my own worth
I get up every morning for work
comb my hair
brush my teeth
put on my clothes
I pay taxes
I try to be a descent person
and if I should find out
that I am wrong
even if eternity passes
I will admit it
I stand up for what I believe in
and try to leave alone what I do not
your rants have become raves my friend
and why is it
that when we are emotionally vulnerable
we repel what we need
and when we turn our backs
what we needed comes back
like a moth to flame
it is just as Jack said
“mankind is like dogs, not gods”
you have to stay mad
you have to snarl and bite
to get a pet or a crumb
or respect
if I saw you in the marketplace 
of “Love In The Time of Cholera”
I would have to tell you
“I’m sorry, I was mistaken”
and turn my back
because I just realized
the truth of the matter is
I am better than you
and maybe this scares you
or maybe
you just don’t care
I always do this

~Jenny

Summer

This time of year is sweltering
tiring
oppressive
but not entirely
there is some comfort
in familiarity
and past memories
of the sun’s debut
upon the stage of the earth
memories of Slip and Slides
the smell of damp towels
after a day in the pool
the peaceful hum
of air conditioners
sitting on patios
with loved ones
in bathing suits
not quite dry
with thunderstorms coming in
and big billowing clouds
offering a momentary reprieve
from the brightness
hamburgers
chlorine rinsing showers
time together indoors
and a feeling that you are surviving
something together
patiently waiting
for pumpkins
and falling leaves
and the rich smoky smell
of fall
as the golden light returns
to welcome more holidays
after long holiday-less months.

~Jenny

Free Message From The Universe

When I opened my emails today the first thing I saw was
"Free Message From The Universe"
Actually--what it really said was "Free Info on Today's Top Online Universities"
I guess my eyes are playing tricks on me,
but the free message from the universe is a great idea
So here it is for today--at no cost--straight from the Universe
"you are loved, even if you don't always feel it, you are greatly loved."
I wonder what the Universes email address would be?

~Jenny

The Swami of PB&J

Dear Swami,
I scaled the heights
searching for you all my life
I tired of searching for a God
who may or may not be there
some say he is
some say he isn’t
I climbed the Himalayas
because I heard you where there
to give your wisdom and guidance
as you sit in your underwear
making Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches
all day
cause you like them
and that’s what makes you happy in life
So when I reached the top
with hungry eyes
and an even hungrier soul
you handed me one
made with grape Jam
my favorite
how did you know
and I asked you for the secret
and you simply replied
crunchy...my daughter
is better than creamy
and...cut the crust off if you want

~Jenny

I knew I shoulden't have weighed myself this morning

I....weigh 160 GLORIOUS pounds
I will shout it from the rooftops
I will dance to its beat
half naked on the beach
with my cellulite falling everywhere
in ALL my glory

I....have a HUGE ass
it is very booty- licious
well, it’s huge anyways
I’m thinking of bedazzling it

I give up
I used to want to weigh 130 pounds
then 140
now 150??
So RIGHT NOW in this moment
160 it is
and I will carry it around like a VAMP
and reserve my right to giggle
and throw my weight around

~Jenny

(this brings to mind the story that while they were growing up, after seeing how much my Aunt weighed on the scale, my father promptly told the mail man)

Stuck In The Middle With You

I don’t know what’s worse
sitting here between two world’s
heaven and hell
one and the other
not really making a choice
all the way
I refuse to
I refuse to swing
too far
to one side
or the other
but if I stay here
will I fall
into the deep chasm
that is beneath me
the chasm that says
I have to make a choice
it is lying
lying, lying, lying
as it breaths, hisses and screams
at the bottom
but just like the actor
hanging onto the ledge of the building
on the movie
set
after they stop rolling film
their feet plant firmly
on the ground
it wasn’t really that far down
at all
but sometimes
just sometimes
it takes more energy
to stay in the middle
than to go to extremes

~Jenny

Sumeria

The room smells strange
because it is ancient
not only ancient
but from another time
another place
another people
another race
another species
another planet
another sun
another solar system
the room smells strange
because we have never
smelled that smell
before

~Jenny