a good place

I looked in the mirror this morning and thought
I
have a history
of lovers and friends
of experiences
this face has seen a lot
a lot has seen this face
I am coming to terms
with my past
it’s like sorting through dresser drawers
and pulling items out
“I want to get rid of this,
aww..remember this?
let's keep it.”
This
was me
this is me now
for the first time in my adult life
I’m starting to really embrace
that I would not take any of it back
the good or the bad
if I could go back in time
and speak
to my 20 year old self
and tell her anything now
it would be
“carry on...”
And then
I would be silent
to let her live
life
and have all her experiences
I would not
rob her of that
this is what happens
when you get in
a safe place
I quit drinking
over six months ago
that’s about all I have to
say about that right now
but if I would have never
started on this journey
I would still be looking back
and cringing
with embarrassment
and fear
instead of introspection
and guardianship
of myself
I am creating the future now
in the present
creating good memories
making the right decisions
or the best I know how
it’s all the same you know
past, present, future
and at any time
we have the power
in one moment
to change the whole thing
if we want to.

~Jenny

messages from cats

this morning as he is walking me out to my car to go work:

him: "well I don't think I got that job at ....... = ( "

me: "at least you were one of two choices out of a lot of candidates, I think you're done in the food industry anyways, you should just trust me on this, trust my intuition."

him: "well there are OTHER things I could do in the food industry.....like sell food to dogs and cats!"

Enter neighborhood cat from around my car at the cue of the words food and cats~begins rubbing against our legs.

me: " I think that's your answer. I think that's God talking to you." and I drive away to go to work, as he pets the cat and makes sure I don't accidentally run it over.

~Jenny

Rough Seas

Perhaps we have forgotten
the better days
when we were new
moon lit dinners
far away in magical places
long trips
just you and me
traveling along the dark ocean road
in the quiet of the night
back to our bed
and silence.

All the adventures
they are still in my mind
more so than
hardships past
by my hand or yours

I long for those again
I want those again
the happiness
the freedom
laughing
dancing
walking
hand in hand

with you, so gentle
and sure
so much in love
with me
and I in love with you

there was a sense of
stewardship
back then

Ps~Although I may be
on course and the sky appears clear
does not mean I no longer need
a steward for my ship

~Jenny

Forest Dreaming

Wish I was in Yosemite today
playing Rocky Mountain High
with pancakes and fiddles
and clouds in the sky

wish I had my hiking boots on
and was trudging up some steep trail
keeping on to the top through
wind, sleet or hail

wish I was at that mountain stream
with you
down in the valley below
fixing our fishing lines
watching the wind blow

through tall grasses
and wild flowers
not caring what the world thinks
the waters fresh
tastes forest salty
take a refreshing drink

wish the clouds were rolling in
with us tied up all cozy inside
as cheesy music plays
and daydreams fill our eyes

wish there was a cabin
wish there was a van
wish there was
an old school cannon camera
in my hand

wish there was a Coleman
water jug
filled with iced tea
wish there was spot somewhere today
just for you and me

~Jenny

A New Story

I've started a new blog. I will continue to post here and there on Notes From Pippi,  but I'm afraid Pippi's Notes have gotten rather depressing. Time to focus on the positive. I plan on posting inspiring quotes, art (mine and others), positive stories I find, ways to create happiness and beauty in life etc. So--will you join me in A Happy Place? http://ahappyplace2011.blogspot.com/

713

My hand draws this
reflected on the dark surface
wondering about the state
of love~in this harrowing time

Does she suffer?
Is she forgotten?
Or put aside for another day
when the bounty is fresh
and she well rested

Perhaps she has vanished
like a spirit
her presence faintly felt
but unseen.

~Jenny

Dante's Prayer

I used to listen to this song when I was sick, stuggling through the day, so sad and hopeless. Now it is a beautiful song to me, and it is on my mind today. One of my favorites and the light shines through the clouds and my heart opens.