The Purging

If I look back I see
the purging of my body
it's taken a long time it seems
I quit drinking over a year
and a half ago.
If I look at pictures of myself
during that first year
I still look like I am struggling
to release the toxins
I look better in them
but I remember
I felt kind of sick
off and on still
Now I'm in a place
where I feel it is done
and my body has started
to create new cells
started to create a new me.
It is an amazing process
to behold and feel.
It is more amazing
how long it can take.

Even more amazing
is the purging of my brain
my spirit
my life.
A lot of negative thoughts
and beliefs have been purged too.
And I see them beginning to be
replaced by new thoughts
and beliefs.
Just like my body had to purge
the toxins
before it could begin creating new cells,
so did my mind and spirit have to purge
to take on a new life.

I am more readily able
to take a non-biased look at things.
I am more apt to choose to respond
with love and compassion
rather than anger and hate
even if anger and hate may be
my initial emotions,
they are often quickly replaced
with a genuine compassion
for others suffering.
After all, that is why
we are all assholes sometimes,
it's because in some way or another
we are all suffering.

~Jenny

Just Write Anything

It’s hot today
driving everybody’s
on everybody’s
else’s ass
in each others lanes
I got my new CD
in the mail today
all the way from China
after hearing it
in a Thai restaurant
with you
sipping Curry
feeling beautiful
the music
is beautiful
jazzy
classy
and warm
just the thing
to go about my business
with

ah what life has thrown our way
times march
clocks tick
keep wolves at bay
for only so long
fellows lives
turn out strange
fellows lives
still lived in vain
your life different
now and then
not predicted
not allotted
it
just is
floating out there
somewhere in space
neither good or bad
it just is
I see the sadness
in their eyes
to replace
my ancient hate
and I see a glimmer
in their eyes
that shows the
potential path
of the hero
the potential
of a soul
who has or can
even if for a moment
fulfill
the age old
ancient purpose
of earth

~Jenny

after a long vacation
of rattlesnakes and scorpions
carefree abandon
tents
the deepest lake
I awoke
and declared
to the light
bursting forth
over the horizon
sitting up in bed
pointing
“look how beautiful
the sunrise is over the cliffs!”
As I awakened my sister
with my awe.
Only to find out
that we were still in Vegas
and I was merely
seeing the lights of the city
over the jagged curtains.

~Jenny

he knows some interesting people
...photographers
artists
singers

me
I only know
people
close
to
my
heart

these days

not too interesting
but I can feel the
warm blood
pumping in there

and it means
I am alive.

~Jenny

give me a teacher
who don’t wear
no shoes

give me a guitar
so I can sing the blues

give me a crystal ball
so I can see what
the future may hold

give me a balm
for the foot of my soul

give me a song to sing
that will be just mine
give me some comfort
give me some time

give me a reprieve
from this whole damned mess
and may my heart be
lightened
and my path be blessed

~Jenny

the thing about being an underdog is
that I get other underdogs
while taking a prayer request
for someone today
who I am normally short on patience with
I found myself having
a profound sense
of compassion for him
and really listened
I mean really listened
to what he was telling me

this poor guy
just wants some clothes
some social security
some help for his health problems
as he’s sitting there in
his mothers house
after eye surgery
about to have another one in
several months
I don’t think this is a guy
that can help himself

he just wants to go
on a vacation somewhere
he just wants a good place
to live

and I said to myself and God
Dear God, give the kid a break
this guy needs a break
a windfall

that’s the thing about kindness
and having some things work out
for you
it makes you want them to work out
for everyone else too.

It makes you able to do something about it.
To feel useful.
There is a trick to this.
There is a definite lesson in this.

We really do get delight,
in giving delight to others.

Perhaps I am beginning
to learn the laws of prosperity?
In all ways. Prosperity is in love
money is energy
that fixes, solves or creates
problems
but that energy is channeled
through God I believe

and maybe someone up there
sometimes on our behalf
says Dear God
give the kid a break

~Jenny