just when I think
I cannot do it anymore
I hug you goodbye
as I leave for work
hearts touching
the sun in my face
eyes closed
and I know
how much I love you

the depression comes
rolling in like a fog
slowly but surely
it travels even in my sleep
so that I wake up
to an overcast sky
even though the sun
is shining

I ask
“where have you been”
“Italy” it replies,
"it’s lovely this time of year."
“don’t you want to go abroad again?"
"Please?” I say.
“No, I have been homesick,
and lonely for you, I need someone
to talk to at night.”

I do not get a reprieve
even in my dreams
if I am able to sleep at all
I do not recognize
my night time wanderings
but the figures are disturbing
and I wish they would go away
and let me be.

I awake on a Tuesday,
eyes open, asking~
“Again?”

“Yes, Again.”

~Jenny