Tuesday, October 23, 2012

its quiet here today
inside and out
cell phone laying on desk
water bottle cap open
grasping for something to write
some words
on paper
and its cold out
like autumn
or something
as I hear the soft drone
of a street sweeper
or some kind of machinery
running lulling
and quietly
like my mind
background noise


Monday, October 15, 2012


Today, I celebrate life, as it was meant to be.
Today, marks another milestone that I have not
had a drink in a year and ten months.
I rarely think about it anymore.
I have gotten on with the business of life,
of living.
Today, I can hold my head up high,
I live an authentic life.
I cannot believe that I ever lived
any other way.
Some things I notice are that I am able
to think more logically.
I have learned to tweak and think, and solve
my way out of problems and challenges better.
I am on a moving path, instead of a downward spiral
or stagnant existence.
While I always cared about my loved ones,
I notice that it is even more so now.
Maybe they were always struggling from time
to time, but I notice and it affects me
more deeply now, and I want to do whatever
I can to help. Even if that means being
a constant presence and source of stability
and strength.
It also makes me realize how I must have
caused the same worry of unsettling for them
when I was unhappy or a mess.
It's a good path I have chosen.
It seems to also have chosen me.
The best way I can help those still struggling
with addiction and alcoholism,
is to serve as a quiet example,
that life goes on, that progress is made
that happiness is found in nooks and crannies,
that we can overcome our challenges,
and that begins with recognition
that there is a problem,
and the decision that we want that to change
and are willing to do whatever is within
our power to change that,
and the rest is placed faithfully
and gently in God's hands.


Monday, October 1, 2012

Dear God,
May I live less by the clock
and more by what I do with my time
May I live less by the things I want
and more by seeing what I have
Less by how I think I want things to be
and more by just being here now
Less by striving for perfection
and more by reveling in the beauty
and interestingness of imperfection
may you give me the power
to more than just accept things
but to embrace them
to live them
to stop always wanting more
May you help me jump into this pool
of an imperfect, real and messy life,
and stop thinking about it so much
and just enjoy it wherever I can.