Friday, December 28, 2012

Scrambled Eggs

I once read a Buddhist teacher
who said
that we should care for small things
I look at my tiny Christmas ornaments
most from when I was a girl
hung on the tree just so
delicately
lovingly
they
were not damaged
through my journeys
all still intact
all still so heartwarming
they will be put away with care
I fold my clothes lovingly
I drive my car carefully
I surrounded awe struck
at what I have
is it
a manifestation
of the life I am living
the path I have chosen
is it
some divine intervention
that I should be so fortunate
as to have let the
“precious ring”
slip out of my hands
and into the fire

that I let it go
I am perplexed by it all

the “thing” is still in me
that un-nameable
“thing”
but now when it tries to speak
I recognize it
I address it
I say
what do you want
why do you want it
we need to figure you out
we need to dig to your roots
so that your foliage
remains
healthy
and intact

and I think we all
have umbilical cords
spiritual etheric
umbilical cords
that connect us to one another
that we either send
toxins through
or love and nourishment
we must take care of the
baby
and make sure it grows
strong
each finger
each toe
and especially
the heart

~Jenny

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Granted the world does not end tomorrow,
I have decided on some changes for 2013.
(I keep telling myself I don’t have time for
the end of the world, I’m too busy trying to
prepare for the holidays and dealing with
everything else = )

The first change I made was to change my
religion on Facebook from Christian
to All Loving Universal God.
I am standing up for my beliefs,
this is who I am.
Jesus isn’t that guy in the paintings to me,
the religious icon that will decide who
gets a pass and who gets- a fail.
He’s a guide, an intercessor when asked,
a loving presence to get us through all this shit.
God is something bigger than we can understand
but I believe he is there, constantly, everywhere,
even for those who don’t believe in him, and if
someone chooses to not believe in him, I respect
that.
I have also put in a request to join a closed group
on Facebook of INFP’s. As I looked at all the faces
of the members on the page, I saw my people.

It’s time to start even more so living on the outside
who I am on the inside.

I’m excited about these changes, but also worry
if I am going too far. If I will alienate myself.
If I will hurt people I have loved and been friends
with for so long. But I cannot live like this anymore,
I must fully express who I am in the world.
Why would I ever do otherwise?

~Jenny

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Take it slow today
like Miles
Miles Davis
slow with the bomp bomp
of the horn
and the tink tink
of the keys
bringing you into
a world of culture
and royalty
not of crowns and jewels
but of life

I had a dream about my mother
last night
it was the end
the end of the world
and I said
what's the big deal
we are just going back
to the place
where we all came from
and she said
maybe you should look at it
the other way around.

~Jenny

Monday, December 3, 2012

you would think that after you get one beast tamed,
it is over,
you would think that after you stop taking a poison
to your lips, or change the way you live your life,
it is over and all is well.

It seems that that is when the REAL work begins.
It’s not all on the outside, not all in stopping
harmful actions. It’s so inner, it’s thoughts,
ideas, beliefs, the way you view life in general.

My next grand task, and undertaking, is to change my
thoughts, to a more positive and loving state.

Jesus was so right, when he said, it is not what we
put in the body, but what comes out of it.
I want to live from my heart. This is a universal
struggle. To quiet the mind. To stop it’s twisting
and bending from sunrise to sunset. The heart...
does not think out loud. In fact, the heart does not think,
it just is, it loves, it feels, the mind is where we kid
ourselves, the mind is where lies come from,
the heart is truth.

So my new mantra for now is the prayer of
Saint Francis, the song keeps going around
and around in my mind. Perhaps my higher
self trying to remind me, to try, to try
to truly come from a place of being all
that it says.

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.


O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen