Monday, September 10, 2012

Just Another Day

Driving to work this morning
the radio set to the classical music station
scritchity scratching
in between the piano keys
fading in and out
I leave it on anyways
I pull up and forgot
she is not here Mondays
two jobs today
change my date stamp
as always
after two and a half days
it never seems to be enough
put the CD in the CD player
I take out the endless drawn out
and put in Chakras gone wild
yes, today we need some Chakras
gone wild
and I think of Jack Kerouac
and how I need to read his journal
when I get home
because Jack knew
he knew how it was
and my body feels sloooow
and time is slooow
and my healing process
has been slooow
the other morning I woke up
with and irresistible urge
to tear up pictures of you
it all started there
he’s a nice guy
they said
he just has problems
poor him
no, nice guys don’t do that
he was just an asshole
like the rest of them
I try not to play the victim
and I become angry
I have been angry a long time
I did things backwards
trying to forgive first
then becoming increasingly
angry later
until I realize
my anger is at myself
because there is a common
in all of this
and it is me
why did I put up with it
why did I always take it that far
and why am I still thinking
about these things.


1 comment:

Laura said...

Seems to me you are not just thinking about these things, you are chewing them, deciding what to spit out and what to take in for nourishment. What a Spirit you have.