Some may have heard of practicing a program of rigorous honesty

Me, at the cusp of 40, trying to practice a program of

Rigorous selfishness

I have to remind myself of this on days like today

When something doesn’t feel right

When I don’t want to do something

Because inside I know it’s all bullshit

And just for appearances and such

I have to ask myself

Is this in line with living an authentic  life

Cause after all this time

You owe yourself an authentic life

That means no fucking faking

Cause your afraid of what people will think

And you want to keep up appearances

And someone’s feelings might get hurt

It’s time to lay all that to rest.

If people really knew, they would thank you

For being genuine.

A program of rigorous selfishness

Means I still help the people I love

I am helpful by nature

It means that I don’t do optional

If it feels like I will not be true

To myself and others

I have quit my stage job

I’m just an unemployed actress now

Looking for a new profession

~Jenny