Bored.
Bored with the internet, bored with the struggles.
I have reached a strange place in my life.
There is too much information out there.
We are bombarded every day.
For example, I was just surfing the net.
Articles about topics that used to interest me
Like Ceres, there are new pictures.
Do I want to read this long ass article? No.
Because they aren’t going to tell us what those lights
are.
Do I want to read the article about Russian planes by
US Navy ship? No because nothing has happened and
Probably won’t.
Do I want to read the article about how California could
Potentially have a massive earthquake due to faults in
the
Ocean? No because it hasn’t happened and might not.
Bored.
I have experienced intense sparkling light and dark nights of
Soul.
Over came these and the overcoming of them was a topic
For years. Now it seems a non issue. I am bored with the
Fact it all happened, and I am finally bored of the
overcoming of it.
So what’s next? I can understand now why there is this
huge universe,
Possibly multiversus and infinite possibilities, because
being a human
Becomes boring after a time.
I have reached a state of blissful apathy.
I don’t care anymore that I have been struggling to work
for almost a year.
I don’t care anymore that my partner has been out of work
for
Over 5 years. I’m tired of the stress and the struggle.
So I gently renounce it.
I will do the next best thing for survival, but this
apathy thing
Feels kind of nice.
I just admitted to myself and God in the wee hours of the
dark
Morning how very hard the last year has really been.
It was not safe to go there until now, but I felt how
very painful
And grueling it has all been day after day, night after
night.
And it didn’t break me. It was just facing stark reality
in a safe place.
And I was able to have compassion for myself.
So this boredom feels somewhat like an epiphany,
It’s warm and light, it’s who I truly am at my core,
Is this a form of enlightenment? Everything has been
Stripped away now, and all that remains is LOVE.
Just love.
I watched Starman last night.
In it the alien says they have been watching us for
Quite some time, we are a beautiful and unique species,
In that we are at our best when things are at their
worst.
These days I find the only thing that brings me true
happiness
And unbores me, is helping others where I can. Spending
time
With those I love, and loving them. Showing the young
what
Has made me truly happy in my life past and present.
I’m ok with that. This is where I have reached, sitting
under a
Boring tree of apathy, boredom and finding love.
Perhaps humans are the only species in the universe
That can love.
-- Jenny
