Wednesday, June 2, 2010

some thoughts on introversion

As I get older I notice I am becoming more introverted.
I have always been an introvert.
I relish my time at home, or intimate moments with just one or two
people, doing something quiet like watching TV
or reading together,
or seeing a movie,
or making art.
When you can spend time with someone
in the same room, but in separate spaces
sharing the quiet and some conversation
just being present together.
But I’m finding I need more and more time alone.
And this scars me.
Am I becoming some kind of recluse?
Or is it just time to have a quiet,
peaceful and simple life.
I’ve done my running around
like a crazy Pippi, I still like to run
around ocasionally, and that’s good
but it’s less and less.
Taco Tuesday for me and my love last night,
was picking up Taco’s and watching
House Wives of New Jersey,
then me going home to work out while watching
Deep Space Nine,
then him coming over for more Deep Space Nine
and our favorite popcorn.
I like being alone more and more.
I read, I play computer games,
I watch one series after another on DVD.
Life gets quiet.
But still I know I am lacking a rhythm
a flow
quiet days should not be mundane.
Sometimes we have to pick up the rhythm of the beat again
the one we either determine or the one that is being
played for us at the moment
and get in sync with it
as we bounce up and down
and sway side to side
through our life each day.
Right now, my beat has gone from an all out
tribal extravaganza
to the lone drum of the Shaman
the hermit
and surprisingly
I like it
now if only I can find balance
and pick up a comfortable rhythm
to dance to it through my life
with my body and my soul.


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