Thursday, December 1, 2011

I Am Lazy & Unambitious

He who has more, has more to loose. Or something like that. As I was working on my first paint by number kit last night, I realized that I do not want one so difficult. I don’t want to have to mix colors, I just want to leisurely paint~because, I am lazy! I don’t so much like a challenge anymore.  I have recently fully embraced the fact that I am lazy, and lack ambition. I used to feel like less than because of this, that I was always missing the boat, that everyone else was ahead of me and that I was a looser. I used to think it was my alcohol consumption that was to blame for this fact. Part of it was. Now that I don’t drink I am more prone to go out and buy nice things for the apartment that I have been wanting for a long time, or nice clothes for myself. I get more simple everyday things done and my life is more organized.

But I am still lazy, the only difference now is that I am coming to accept this about myself and even embrace it.  Especially in these times, I realize that my laziness and lack of ambition have served me well. While others are struggling to pay that mortgage, or make that car payment, or pay credit card bills, I have peace of mind. My lack of ambition to own my own home, to have all the latest and greatest, to have a new car ( I drive an eclectic 1990 Mercedes that cost me $1300.00 I paid cash = ) means that I have nothing to loose right now. My debt is one payment away from being paid off. If I want something nowadays I go with the slow and steady modo, I buy things here and there, and I pay cash on the barrel. I slowly build a better life and things are more meaningful and valuable to me that way.

I don't take on more challenges than I logically know will just make me miserable, or that I will dread being committed to. I have no illusions about what I am really capable of, or in reality will want to see through. I will do things when and how I want to, and not a moment before. If it requires too much effort and is optional, it won't be done, at least not right now = )

So today, I don’t feel like such a loser, I feel like a very lucky girl. Lazy and unambitious, but happy and lucky. I don’t want or expect a lot out of life. And I fully embrace and even dare say love, my laziness. Viva Le Sloths!

1 comment:

Laura said...

Little Sloth,
That color chart is just a suggestion. Why not paint your picture your own way?

Just this morning I was struggling with myself assessment while brushing my teeth. Finally, I looked in the mirror and said, "honey, yhats just the way you are". Good for you. Xo from Unreliable