Free Message From The Universe

When I opened my emails today the first thing I saw was
"Free Message From The Universe"
Actually--what it really said was "Free Info on Today's Top Online Universities"
I guess my eyes are playing tricks on me,
but the free message from the universe is a great idea
So here it is for today--at no cost--straight from the Universe
"you are loved, even if you don't always feel it, you are greatly loved."
I wonder what the Universes email address would be?

~Jenny

The Swami of PB&J

Dear Swami,
I scaled the heights
searching for you all my life
I tired of searching for a God
who may or may not be there
some say he is
some say he isn’t
I climbed the Himalayas
because I heard you where there
to give your wisdom and guidance
as you sit in your underwear
making Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches
all day
cause you like them
and that’s what makes you happy in life
So when I reached the top
with hungry eyes
and an even hungrier soul
you handed me one
made with grape Jam
my favorite
how did you know
and I asked you for the secret
and you simply replied
crunchy...my daughter
is better than creamy
and...cut the crust off if you want

~Jenny

I knew I shoulden't have weighed myself this morning

I....weigh 160 GLORIOUS pounds
I will shout it from the rooftops
I will dance to its beat
half naked on the beach
with my cellulite falling everywhere
in ALL my glory

I....have a HUGE ass
it is very booty- licious
well, it’s huge anyways
I’m thinking of bedazzling it

I give up
I used to want to weigh 130 pounds
then 140
now 150??
So RIGHT NOW in this moment
160 it is
and I will carry it around like a VAMP
and reserve my right to giggle
and throw my weight around

~Jenny

(this brings to mind the story that while they were growing up, after seeing how much my Aunt weighed on the scale, my father promptly told the mail man)

Stuck In The Middle With You

I don’t know what’s worse
sitting here between two world’s
heaven and hell
one and the other
not really making a choice
all the way
I refuse to
I refuse to swing
too far
to one side
or the other
but if I stay here
will I fall
into the deep chasm
that is beneath me
the chasm that says
I have to make a choice
it is lying
lying, lying, lying
as it breaths, hisses and screams
at the bottom
but just like the actor
hanging onto the ledge of the building
on the movie
set
after they stop rolling film
their feet plant firmly
on the ground
it wasn’t really that far down
at all
but sometimes
just sometimes
it takes more energy
to stay in the middle
than to go to extremes

~Jenny

Sumeria

The room smells strange
because it is ancient
not only ancient
but from another time
another place
another people
another race
another species
another planet
another sun
another solar system
the room smells strange
because we have never
smelled that smell
before

~Jenny

Viva La Pippi

She’s been laying in the grass eating Popsicles all day
her tongue has turned a lovely shade of purple
by the way

The clouds that pass by are any number of things
royalties galore
and dreams with wings

And most days now she takes her elfin friend
into town to see a picture show again

She will not be bothered
by the bothersomes of life
she is the new Pippi Longstocking
of mother’s and wives

~Jenny

Wanted: Angst Free Zone

Angst is a German, Danish, Norwegian and Dutch word for fear or anxiety. (Anguish is its Latinate equivalent.) It is used in English to describe an intense feeling of strife. The term Angst distinguishes itself from the word Furcht (German for "fear") in that Furcht usually refers to a material threat (arranged fear), while Angst is usually a nondirectional emotion.
In other languages having the meaning of the Latin word pavor, the derived words differ in meaning, e.g. as in the French anxiété and peur. The word Angst has existed since the 8th century, from the Proto-Indo-European root *anghu-, "restraint" from which Old High German angust developed. It is pre-cognate with the Latin angustia, "tensity, tightness" and angor, "choking, clogging"; compare to the Greek "άγχος" (ankhos): stress. (Wikipedia)

I’m going to invent a new cereal with nuts, bolts and sharp tacks–with a vulture as a mascot that toots “follow your angst.” I will call it Angst Loops.
Or perhaps a new game–Ring Around The Angst.
Skip to my Angst?
Red Rover, Red Rover, let Angst come over.
It Angst got that thing, if it Angst got that swing.
“Knock-knock”
“whose there?”
“Angst”
“Angst who?”

Ahh Angst, so glad you could come. Sit, would you like some tea? What’s that? You would like to stay in the guest room for a while? Why sure, let me get you an extra blanket.

~Jenny