Thursday, August 26, 2010

Apartment #G

During those days
I would always think about
what we were going to make
for dinner
was I food obsessed?
Or comfort obsessed?
Normal life obsessed
or reveling
in it anyways
he was always home first
due to the latest lost job
or a different schedule
than mine
or during some periods
he would pick me up from work
and we would drive home
the best of these times 
was when it was raining
and we would come in our dark
and shake off the water
and the cold
and curl into
those were the hamburger helper days
back then, drinks were iced tea
milk, kool-aid
we had a bottle of tequila
and margarita mix
in a cabinet
above the fridge
that lasted well over a year
and were thrown out nearly full
as we really had no use for them
the smells
the way the light was back then
in the fall and winter
the ridiculously huge box
of fire works
on the 4th of July
the bigger than average pumpkins
the homemade potato salad
him baking cakes into the early hours
of the the morning
to get just right
me sitting in the middle of the kitchen
on a chair
keeping him company
eating the mistakes
that didn't make the cut
big nights out
were at the drive in
where we would pick up a special dinner
before hand
and wait until sunset
with our mouths watering
to dig into the feast
with the special ranch dressing
talking about jobs
and common things
sitting there in the passenger seat
with the awarness
that I was happy
so happy
I thought I had all my ducks in a row
and in my reality
I did, we did
how do you chase a feeling
how do you chase a state of being
that you have been denied of
and have denied yourself of
for so long.


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