Thursday, June 9, 2011

Once Upon A Time

It’s morning
she’s filling her cup
at the water cooler
thinking back
to a time
when things weren’t
so good
that morning
stumbling out
of the hotel
embarrassed in high heels
at the break of dawn
riding in the cab
seeing all the good
people go to work
how she had wished
she had a job
she fantasized on the way home
about getting up
at the same time each day
making a cup of coffee
doing menial
but safe routines
and tasks
he had left her that night
after she paid for the hotel room
it was his idea
she thought he would stay
so she gave herself to him
she thought he would stay
because he still loved her
somewhere, somehow
beneath his drugs
and her alcohol
that he still loved her
she told him a story
about a myth
involving women
she was trying
to explain her heart
in a parable
but fell
all
over
herself
he smiled
she thought it was
alright
then he took a phone call
and said
he would be back later
he never came back
and she slept
on white sheets
and puffy pillows
in a fancy room
she had paid for
all alone
it was dark
now it doesn’t
seem to all matter
it was so long ago
or was it?
These things
should be forgiven
and forgotten
right away
in a perfect world.
But now she is cleansing
herself
does not rent hotel rooms
anymore unless it is
for a vacation
and she knows that
her companion will not leave her
now, she is here
and he....
Is dead
why does it still matter?

~Jenny

2 comments:

Christopher Dos Santos said...

Namaste sister Jenny, what is real?

The past is like a movie reel. We can play it and laugh or cry. When we finished playing the reel we must agree "it's a replay it's not live". When we look into the future we are playing another movie that has yet to happen. It's not REAL, it's the future we hope or fear will manifest.

THERE IS NO PAST OR PRESENT: ONLY EGO SEES THIS ILLUSION AS TRUTH

ONLY THE NOW IS REAL: EGO DOES NOT WANT YOU TO SLOW DOWN AND KNOW THE NOW MOMENT

Physicists love to explain mechanically why the past and future do not truly exist. Spiritual texts usually are so deep in metaphor that gaining a perspective of the now difficult.

Here is the big test:

If you identify the times you feel love and peace in your heart you will notice these are NOW moments. Walking in the woods, playing with a puppy, enjoying a sunset or warm breeze, eating a fantastic meal, being with a special someone.

Conversely if you identify the times you feel that which is not love, or suffer angst and unrest in your spirit; you will see these moments are mostly mental meanderings into the past or future. Most of what makes up a bad day is a direct result of what we have been thinking.

"If there is thinking going on; ego is right there."


In Lak' ech, my sister, NOW I choose only love...

Laura said...

It matters because it is part of your journey. These things can leave us wounded, forever morose and bitter. But I see you mining gold, these things make you empathetic, tender, understanding and forgiving. We walk in Spirit through a physical landscape. These experiences are real and they are good. Embrace the gifts and stand tall in the growth. The best fertalizer stinks and grows the most fragrant flowers. This is a moving poem. I love it.