I am sorry
things turned out this way

I read your stories
the ones you wrote in school
you’ve been to the North Pole,
Mars, and even other dimensions

Your heart filled with wonder
& hope.

But I must now tell you
a secret
a terrible secret

Life.....eats childrens souls

It chews on the hope found
in your bone marrow
it slurps the stars & galaxys
that float around in your blood
& then it devours
your child soul
& cleans its teeth
with your little rib

So you are left with
an adult soul 
& we all know
that adult souls
are defective

Adult souls
are filled with fear
of things sillier
than boogy men
under the bed

 Adult souls
are slaves

~Jenny

I am thinking of deleting
every...last....one
of the philosophy books
I have on my kindle
every...last...one
of the positive thought books
along with ALL of the books
on spirituality, self help,
and how to thoroughly
mind fuck yourself until you
are so wrapped up and miserable
by trying to find out reasons and
solutions to things
that you forget the value
of ignorant bliss and just try
to be happy where and when you can
and to quote a friend, who when years ago
I was drunk and crying about how miserable
I was, told me to "just be happy and try to
enjoy your fucking life"
Perhaps the wisest words ever spoken.

Maybe life just is
and while I am trying to figure
it out, life itself may be
passing me by.

Has anyone ever dissected a flower
to find out what makes it beautiful?

Has anyone ever performed open heart surgery
to find out what love looks like?

Has anyone ever captured tears to find out
where they come from?

Probably not.
The experiment begins.

I will be reading stories, novels.
I will be going places,
to look at flowers and enjoy
their beauty,
I will find moments of Love,
and embrace them.
I will sometimes cry,
and not worry about it.

Adieu Plato, Socrates, Hermes,
Gurus, teachers, self help books.
Bye Bye.

~Jenny

Jack

Jack teaches to choose your words carefully
to pick out each one
beautiful open mind thoughts
catch each one carefully
as they flutter by
like butterflies
only certain ones
go together

and Jack teaches
have only true thoughts
true thoughts
are not judged
they are just thought
and its ok
because you can’t help it

No pretending
while you carefully
wade into the stream of conscious thought
while once thought haphazardly
writting down
from mind to hand to pen to paper
carefully let out
like water through the hose
so you don’t just end up
getting everything all ruined and wet
only water what needs to be said.

Jack teaches this
as in his ma’s house
he carefully mulled over
his words
his stories
his books
so sure that they would be
published
so sure they were what people needed
and we did need them
so desperately

“Everything is always alright, all the time”

Jack teaches.

~Jenny

North Carolina

It would storm in the afternoon
in North Carolina
Right after you stood at the end
of the dirt driveway
looking towards the horizon
guessing what color of car
would come over the hill next
testing your psychic powers
like a baby snake
tests its venom
uncontrolled
learning
testing
and after
the sunny sky would darken
as you all stood there
in the outside summer sauna
sweat dripping off your bodies
clinging to your shirts
so you would have to change them
frequently
to fresh clean dry new ones
crisp ones
only to get drenched again
under the southern sky
in the land of your forefathers
whose shirts got drenched before you
in the fields
in the farmhouses
where there was fresh milk
and breakfasts, and suppers
with whole families after a hard
day of work
only to awaken the next morning and
do it all again

Yes, the sky would darken
and it was welcomed
though the damp and heat would remain
there in the rain
it was a comfort to see the storm move in
the black chasing the blue out of the sky
like a wave

and you would all go inside
and sit together on the davenport
talking, sewing
just being together
until the storm ended
and it was time
for supper.

~Jenny

As the clouds darken
outside
with the beautiful green leaves
blowing, billowing in the wind
carry me home perhaps
beyond the storm.

~Jenny

New Rules

New Rules:

Do not put energy into things where there is no return.

In matters of duty at the moment, do the bare minimum
where there is no return.

See things for what they really are, not what you want them to be.

There are people out there that would like to see you stay
exactly where you are because of their own insecurities
and fears. This...is not ok, have as little investment
and interaction with these people as possible. If you
have to be around them on a daily basis, IGNORE THEM.

Accept reality, embrace logic.

The solutions you come up with are sometimes
not the only solutions. There is not always an
A or B solution. Sometimes the universe has
a solution that you cannot see at the moment.

Never, never, let someone else steal your thunder,
or your sense of well being.

Do not bet on outside sources or other people
for circumstances to change or to “rescue” you
from your situation. Sometimes you
have to take the bit out of your own mouth, if someone
else or you have put it there, or take matters into
you own hands for change.

You may have to be temporarily uncomfortable
if you want change and to make a better life
for yourself.

If all else fails, remember, in the words of the
great Muppets, “Minah~Minah”, Sometimes
this can get you through the day.

~Jenny

An End To Providence

I can no longer rely on providence
my old friend
sometimes it gets so hot
under this big sun
that you just have to put on
your bathing suit
plug your nose
and jump in
to cool off
and you swim to
the bottom for a while
in the deep end
like when you were a kid
and just sit there
and it's quiet
just you and the water
and everything looks different
from down there
until you can breath air again
and come up to the surface
cool and refreshed.

~Jenny