Friday, April 16, 2010

I Heart Nicotine Gum

I'm still truckin' with the not smoking.  It's so hard though.  I feel like the urges and the sadness for my old pal is never going to end, like everyone lied to me, like that stupid book I read a month before I quit "The Easy Way To Quit Smoking" was a bunch of bullshit. At least it prepared me mentally that I was going to become a non-smoker. Now I am suffering from terrible occasional bouts of anxiety that I have read do not go away for about a month or so.  Somewhere else it said that smoking relieves anxiety so when you quit you just might suffer from the anxiety everyone else does.  Great.  Me and my BF have been fighting like cats and dogs.  He is quitting too, but plays tuff like he's ok, but I know he's not.  We have taken out everything under the sun on each other the past two weeks, which is sooo counterproductive, cause when you have an argument, you definately feel like smoking.

I broke down last night and got some Nicotine Gum.  It was either that or cigarettes. Don't get me wrong, it is getting easier, but I know if I want to keep going and be successful this is going to be a long term process and I will need all the help I can get.  The gum helped tremendously, I finally felt more like myself again than I did before I started this process, and I didn't feel like I wanted to throw him off a bridge twice anymore, I love him again.  The evenings are the hardest so I will be sticking to the gum to take the edge off.  Next--Hypnosis, and group support.  I will cover all my bases if I have to.

1 comment:

Laura said...

Just put one foot in front of the other...