Wednesday, October 13, 2010


I went a little crazy sometimes
not because something was wrong with me
but because I have the human condition
like everyone else
I was in love
and when your in love
you can't see straight
and do all kinds of stupid
desperate things
I have learned to not be so hard on myself
for decisions
I made in my life
after all
I chose not to stay married to someone
that was dishonest with me
that was possibly being unfaithful
so I got a divorce
rather than enduring years of a lie
and he was set free
to live the life he wanted
and so was I
I chose every relationship
or my heart
and the human condition
of love
chose for me
but I chose to leave each of those
when it was no longer working
and the cost of maintaining them
just for the sake of maintaining them
I feel would have been far greater
than the pain and the turmoil
of pulling out
and each of them
were free
and able
to go on to their destinies
as was I
and that’s good
that’s very good
now I just have to start seeing
how good it was for me, also
how many blessings
have come about
by being released of those contracts
by circumstance
there may be those
who are jealous
that I do not have a mortgage
car payment
I used to fault myself for these things
now, I see them as a blessing
and while these things
can bring blessings
in their own ways
there is a price to pay
as with everything
I consciously chose
to make my life a different one
and today
I do not regret it
and do not want to be ostracized for it
or have it thought
that my problems
or daily life
are somehow less
than yours because of the lack of these things
I had the weight of my choices
and so did you
you chose differently
and our choices
are no ones fault
not even our own
but their fruits
must be managed
sorted and eaten
by ourselves


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