September 1st, 2008
The day is long and sweet and good.

"After all, we are human beings, we are born full of guilt, we feel terrified when happiness becomes a real possibility, and we die wanting to punish everyone else because we fell impotent, ill used and unhappy."
~~Ralph Hart, Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho.

Sometimes I feel terribly misunderstood to myself and others. I write how I think but I don't always say how I think. I hear a child outside today call for their mother over and over again and it makes my milk run.  I did not know I still had that in me. Why do people leave their children.  Maybe we don't know what a reality it is until we witness it. It feels so good to have been away from work these last few days.  It's sick there. I hate it.  I want to be somewhere else.  I think I would feel happier and free somewhere else. I have to get out of there.  It represents stagnation.  I want to conquer my spirit--not just survive in the world anymore.

"He told me that I was someone who wasn't afraid of pain, and that was good, because in order to master the soul one must also learn to master the body.  He told me, too, that I was using pain in the wrong way, and that was very bad."
~~Ralph Hart, Eleven Minutes, Paulo Coehlo