Thursday, October 7, 2010

Halloween Box

they say death is a lonely business
well divorce is a nasty business
sorting through the box
taken out of storage
13
fucking years
ironic
that I keep all of these things
tied up with my favorite holiday
I sorted through everything
and finally threw out
what I needed too
I threw away his Frankenstein costume
a Halloween snow globe
that had been rotting
teddy bear mummies
that had no place
a half burned coffin candle
and a burned down to wires
bloody Halloween hand
for the first time
I put out the pumpkin lights
my sister gave me
kept the wizard Snoopy
with his broken crystal ball
he’s part of me,
but he doesn’t work anymore
that’s ok
the feeling of relief
to put in the dumpster
what needed to be let go of
I felt like a new person
but stood there
wondering
who this girl is now
with the dark hair again
trying to recreate her life
realizing it cannot be recreated
it has to be something new
something now
mixed in with the best
of who I was then
divorce takes a small portion
of your heart out
and it can take years
to grow back
and when it does grow back
it is still tender
like the new skin
over a wound
and you have to be careful of it
not to bump it
on something sharp
and reopen it
it took mine 13 years to grow back
13 years of my life
gone.....

~Jenny

2 comments:

Laura said...

13 years lived! And grown through. I love how you love Halloween.

Christopher Dos Santos said...

Always a favorite time of year. For the first time in over 10 years I am living in a private residence instead of a suburban condo. We are looking forward to the children's visit.

Namaste, my sister, from a bucket of fear we find love...